018 | Jay Gurden & Finn, how an anxious dog turned their guardian into a canine author who rallies to create awareness around imposter syndrome

018 | Jay Gurden & Finn, how an anxious dog turned their guardian into a canine author who rallies to create awareness around imposter syndrome

Very fittingly. I learned about Jay, whose a canine author, blogger and freelance Writer, and her dog Finn through a piece of her writing.

It was an article that Jay wrote for Dogs Today a while ago, but that still makes the rounds among guardians of challenging dogs. What she wrote resonates deeply with most of us.

You can read the full article here:

https://dogstodaymagazine.co.uk/2019/02/19/the-emotional-toll-of-reactive-dog/

But here are two quotes:

There are any number of articles that you can find about how to reassure and help your reactive dog. There are far, far fewer that in any way prepare you for the emotional rollercoaster that is being the owner or handler of a reactive dog.

and

I have cried more tears over this one dog than over any other animal I’ve ever had, even the ones that I’ve had to say that permanent goodbye to. Because of Finn, I have been patronised, pitied, sworn at and despised.

If you have ever wondered whether you messed your dog up because he was your first dog, then you will want to listen to Jay. She was used to living and working with border collies actually working sheep, and “still” she ended up with a very anxious dog.

Jay talks about the moment when someone told her she should just have her dog killed. We discuss what were pivot points in her life with Finn, like hearing the term reactive dog for the first time, and taking Canine Principles courses.

She explains how she ended up writing books, which, spoiler alert, was basically by embracing Nike’s slogan: just do it! and combining it with the belief that there is no one better to write about a topic than someone who has just had to deal it.

Jay also talks about how Finn’s stunning looks don’t always work in his favor. Imagine attracting every human within visual range to your blue merle coat, but being afraid of humans…

And of course, we talk about mindset and the relation with imposter syndrome, which is another topic that Jay is passionate about, and about how that ties into life with Finn.

All of the ways you can find Jay and learn more about her:

https://www.instagram.com/bluemerleminion/

https://www.instagram.com/jaygurden/

https://twitter.com/bluemerleminion

https://www.facebook.com/bluemerleminion/

https://www.facebook.com/jaygurdenwriter

https://www.facebook.com/Dogguardianshub

 

Imposter Syndrome FB group:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/124746796350145

 

Imposter Syndrome Blog:

https://www.blogger.com/blog/posts/2563786379369033227

 

Blog:

https://splodgycollies.blogspot.com/

 

Websites:

https://jaygurden.com/

https://www.goodguardianship.com/

 

Book list on Books2Read: https://books2read.com/ap/RQr7oX/Jay-Gurden

 

Other Links:

Kim Brophy’s ethology courses:

https://kimbropheylegscourses.thinkific.com/

Canine Principles:

https://www.canineprinciples.com/

Sally Gutteridge:

https://www.sallygutteridge.com/

Dogs Today Magazine:

https://dogstodaymagazine.co.uk/

 

Bonus Episode 008 | When you worry about being too emotional and passing stress down the leash

Bonus Episode 008 | When you worry about being too emotional and passing stress down the leash

In this episode, I address the concept of passing stress down the leash to your dog and all of its variants.

I ask you to question what’s the chicken and what’s the egg? Which came first? Your stress or the dog’s behavior? Is your stress the result of your dog lunging or the cause?

What does worrying about your stress, sensitivity or emotionality do for you? Does it make you doubt yourself? Judge yourself? Try to change yourself? Are you believing that your work is to become less emotional? More confident?

You’ll learn why maybe all there is to it is to accept yourself for who you are.

Oh, and you’ll hear about how I deal with emotionality myself and crying in particular. It has something to do with the movies Top Gun and Marley and Me. Have a listen to see how those two link into things.

Links:

Marley and Me on Wikipedia: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marley_%26_Me_(film)

Top Gun on Wikipedia: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Top_Gun

 

Would you like to stop worrying about stressing your dog?

Learn all about how those seemingly admirable thoughts can work against you, and why you don’t need to change yourself, just your thinking, when you coach with me.

Schedule a Call
017 | Airen & Pili, on the intersection of life as a trans and queer person and life with our challenging dogs

017 | Airen & Pili, on the intersection of life as a trans and queer person and life with our challenging dogs

Do you have to deal with comments from others when you’re out and about with your (challenging) dog?

Do you get remarks on working with food rewards?

Made fun of for “rewarding” your dog for lunging or barking?

 

Imagine going through that and getting snide remarks about your sexuality thrown into the mix.

Like how of course it’s the dyke who brings a rug for their dog to relax on at a cafe.

 

Airen has had to deal with experiences like this for a long time. He is a queer and trans person with the most adorable sight hound named Pili, whom he raises force free with the utmost respect for Pili being a sentient being of their own.

 

You can probably imagine that Airen has done his fair share of mindset- and thoughtwork to learn how to handle other people’s judgment. If you, like me, are a person who holds almost all of the world’s privileges it’s almost impossible to comprehend what he experiences on a day-to-day basis. I believe this is precisely why it’s so valuable to educate yourself and to listen to and really hear stories like Airen’s.

Airen holds a degree in biochemistry and a Master’s degree in biotechnology, so like me, he loves science and what it can teach us. He did not find all that he was looking for in the world of academia and has now veered off to embark on a career uniquely his own. He combines science, education and art with his love for dogs and experiences as a queer and trans person to teach people about gender identity and dog well-being.

 

So, press play and listen to the wisdom Airen had to share. There are a lot, lot, lot of golden nuggets in there.

 

Find Airen here:

https://www.instagram.com/perretologia/

 

Other links:

The article on dogs, aversive treatment and the effects of predictability:

https://www.researchgate.net/publication/228352740_Effects_of_predictability_on_the_welfare_of_captive_animals

 

The article on breed stereotypes that Airen and I talk about:

https://www.science.org/doi/10.1126/science.abk0639?adobe_mc=MCMID%3D05295137187867910021787418243348647753%7CMCORGID%3D242B6472541199F70A4C98A6%2540AdobeOrg%7CTS%3D1655129552https://www.science.org/doi/10.1126/science.abk0639?adobe_mc=MCMID%3D05295137187867910021787418243348647753%7CMCORGID%3D242B6472541199F70A4C98A6%2540AdobeOrg%7CTS%3D1655129552

Do you want to change your life around, starting with the relationship with your dog?

Give yourself the gift of coaching and get in touch with me! 

Schedule a Call

Bonus Episode 007 | Are you categorizing your dog walks as good or bad?

Bonus Episode 007 | Are you categorizing your dog walks as good or bad?

If you’re someone who comes home from a dog walk to then classify it as good, bad, great, a disaster, or only a step shy of Valhalla, then you want to listen to this episode.

Consider that it is actually you who makes your dog walks “bad” or “good”. And I say that very lovingly. Because it’s good news. Awareness is everything. 

I explain some strategies you can follow to help you feel better about your dog walks, without having to resort to toxic positivity.

Did you know you can just think: “Crap happened and I  get to feel crappy about it, without having to get sucked into the doomsday-vortex to never resurface ever again?”

Have a listen and as always, if any of it resonated, then I would love to hear from you.

 

Want help seeing your dogwalks in a different light?

Get in touch with me if you would like too change your inner narrative for the better. 

Schedule a Call

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