018 | Jay Gurden & Finn, how an anxious dog turned their guardian into a canine author who rallies to create awareness around imposter syndrome

018 | Jay Gurden & Finn, how an anxious dog turned their guardian into a canine author who rallies to create awareness around imposter syndrome

Very fittingly. I learned about Jay, whose a canine author, blogger and freelance Writer, and her dog Finn through a piece of her writing.

It was an article that Jay wrote for Dogs Today a while ago, but that still makes the rounds among guardians of challenging dogs. What she wrote resonates deeply with most of us.

You can read the full article here:

https://dogstodaymagazine.co.uk/2019/02/19/the-emotional-toll-of-reactive-dog/

But here are two quotes:

There are any number of articles that you can find about how to reassure and help your reactive dog. There are far, far fewer that in any way prepare you for the emotional rollercoaster that is being the owner or handler of a reactive dog.

and

I have cried more tears over this one dog than over any other animal I’ve ever had, even the ones that I’ve had to say that permanent goodbye to. Because of Finn, I have been patronised, pitied, sworn at and despised.

If you have ever wondered whether you messed your dog up because he was your first dog, then you will want to listen to Jay. She was used to living and working with border collies actually working sheep, and “still” she ended up with a very anxious dog.

Jay talks about the moment when someone told her she should just have her dog killed. We discuss what were pivot points in her life with Finn, like hearing the term reactive dog for the first time, and taking Canine Principles courses.

She explains how she ended up writing books, which, spoiler alert, was basically by embracing Nike’s slogan: just do it! and combining it with the belief that there is no one better to write about a topic than someone who has just had to deal it.

Jay also talks about how Finn’s stunning looks don’t always work in his favor. Imagine attracting every human within visual range to your blue merle coat, but being afraid of humans…

And of course, we talk about mindset and the relation with imposter syndrome, which is another topic that Jay is passionate about, and about how that ties into life with Finn.

Other Links:

Kim Brophy’s ethology courses:

https://kimbropheylegscourses.thinkific.com/

Canine Principles:

https://www.canineprinciples.com/

Sally Gutteridge:

https://www.sallygutteridge.com/

Dogs Today Magazine:

https://dogstodaymagazine.co.uk/

 

012 | Ruff Around the Edges with Tara Stillwell & Eva, Curri and Duke

012 | Ruff Around the Edges with Tara Stillwell & Eva, Curri and Duke

So much good stuff in this episode!

I want to turn half of the quotes in this episode into memes.

Like, how learning how to do agility with a border collie is like learning to drive in a Lamborghini.

Meet Tara Stillwell and her dogs Eva, the red and white border collie, Curry, the sable border collie and Duke the mini-Aussie.

Tara has put a ton of effort into reflecting on how her dogs have affected all the relationships in her life. How the expectations we put on ourselves and our dog can trip either of us up.

Most importantly though, she shares so many insights that have helped her embrace life with her dogs again.

We talk about dealing with the guilt she had about not knowing what everyone who’s had multiple dogs before must surely have already known.

Here’s one thought Tara gave to combat that guilt. You can try it on yourself and see if it serves you:

Nobody says: “Let me get a messed up dog so that I can then modify their behavior!”

Isn’t that the truth?

Other dog guardians

She also mentions importantly how she has adapted her thoughts about what other dog guardians are supposed to do or not do. She doesn’t expect them to be able to recall their dogs for example. Can you imagine what that’s like? If you drop that expectation and instead feel compassion for the other guardians?

Podcasts mentioned & links

And of course we talk about some of her and my favorite podcasts and trainers that have already gotten multiple shoutouts on this podcast as well:   Sarah Stremming of the Cognitive Canine and Marissa Martino of Paws and Reward   And then also, Kim Brophy (CLICK HERE for her website), who I didn’t know yet but who has some amazing stuff out there dealing with dog ethology. She uses the LEGS (Learning, Environment, Genetics & Self) model (CLICK HERE to sign up for her course and/or get a free preview)  to account for a lot of why dogs (and us humans too) are the way they and we are. In short, it’s not all in how you raise them. That is something I believe all of us dealing with guilt around  what we believe are our insufficient training skills should take to heart. Watch Kim’s insightful TED talk on “The Problem with Treating Dogs Like a Pet” here:

Want to stop questioning whether you are the right person for your dog(s)?

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